Ever felt like the world has become a tad too self-centered? Join me on this immersive journey where I recount a recent trip to London, revealing a disturbing decline in societal courtesy and general politeness. From the hustle and bustle of tourists to indifferent locals, I noticed a striking absence of simple phrases like 'please' and 'thank you', a situation I find both alarming and rather hard to swallow.
Segueing into the influence of our upbringing and environment on our manners, I exposed the often harsh reality of working in the customer service industry, where abruptness and rudeness seem to be the order of the day. We also delve into the psychological implications of our surroundings on our personal lives and the increasing device addiction, which seems to be leading us astray more than ever. Expressing my frustrations about the lack of customer attention, I also share my relentless efforts to stay kind, even when my patience is tested to its limits. So, are you ready to embark on this insightful journey with me? Let’s bring back the lost courtesy and kindness in our society together.
Ever felt like the world has become a tad too self-centered? Join me on this immersive journey where I recount a recent trip to London, revealing a disturbing decline in societal courtesy and general politeness. From the hustle and bustle of tourists to indifferent locals, I noticed a striking absence of simple phrases like 'please' and 'thank you', a situation I find both alarming and rather hard to swallow.
Segueing into the influence of our upbringing and environment on our manners, I exposed the often harsh reality of working in the customer service industry, where abruptness and rudeness seem to be the order of the day. We also delve into the psychological implications of our surroundings on our personal lives and the increasing device addiction, which seems to be leading us astray more than ever. Expressing my frustrations about the lack of customer attention, I also share my relentless efforts to stay kind, even when my patience is tested to its limits. So, are you ready to embark on this insightful journey with me? Let’s bring back the lost courtesy and kindness in our society together.
Hello, welcome to Stephen Speak! I swear this podcast is getting into a rant. I'm going to try not to make this a ranty one, but it may go there, I don't know. This week, on Stephen Speak, I'm going to be talking about manners and people just being rude and not being kind, and I'm going to try my best not to rant. So if you can cope with that, then stick around.
Stephen:
Welcome to Stephen Speak. The podcast. Unscripted prattle on everything and nothing.
Stephen:
Welcome back to Stephen Speak. Another episode another week past this year's flying crazy. It's absolutely crazy. Let me adjust myself, not like that, just moving in the chair. Hope you're all right. What have you doing today? Thank you, foo. Thank you Foo. Thank you Foo. Thank you Foo. Thank you. Oh geez, I started already. My tongue's not helping today. Deep breath. Thank you for tuning in and joining me today. My brain's gone. It's not good. Less than two minutes in.
Stephen:
Yeah, I'm going to do a little bit today about manners and just people's attitudes and people being in their own little world. And yeah, what does that mean? What is it about? So what kind of triggered this is?
Stephen:
A lot of things have triggered this, to be honest, but I was in London a couple weeks ago and sorry, I'm kicking stuff on the floor. I was in London a couple weeks ago and, yes, yes, yes, big city, blah, blah, blah. People are always trying to get around and yada, yada, yada, and you kind of get used to the amount of people there and the fact that they just kind of arch past you a little bit, but still, it's rude. It's rude Fundamentally, that's rude, but I feel like it's becoming more of a thing in general society where, you know, we had the whole COVID thing and everyone was like, oh, be kind to each other. You know we're losing out and can't see people. And I feel like we're forgetting that again so quickly, like it's like less than like really three or two or three years really, since we were kind of in the situation where we were having lockdowns and couldn't see people and kind of lost our freedoms a bit and we're promoting the whole be kind and support each other and being kind, you know, and be nice to each other and love each other and do things for each other and all that sort of stuff. And I feel like we've kind of gone back and even maybe got worse with some things.
Stephen:
People are very, very selfish. I feel like people are being super selfish and like I am part of this in some sense, but not I don't feel like I'm actually changed my selfishness. I'll explain that, hopefully, if I remember. But yeah, when we were in London, you know people are just always trying to get somewhere fast but some people just like barge and past you and it wasn't just people, it was people visiting London as well as it was people external London. I felt Tourists and everything Like you'd ask to get past someone.
Stephen:
They just look at you and you'd be like I'm trying to get through there and they kind of know what you are about. And then they'd go, oh, yeah, okay, and they'd move literally like two centimetres and you'd be like that's not really helped, yeah, I actually need to move out the way. And then there's some people that would just not say excuse me. Like that you would be stood there like looking at something, and then someone would just obviously be waiting for you to move. But how would you know if you can't see them? And then they just shove you out of the way and you'd be like whoa, like the hell. Like let's just say excuse me, just tap me on the shoulder and be like I want to get through that I mean you don't have to even speak the same language. Like there's universal signs you can do that. You know there's nice, nice universal signs you can do that with.
Stephen:
And I just it was getting me down. I mean it was getting me really angry. If I'm honest with you. It was getting me to the point where I wanted to be rude to people and angry at people, and I have a problem sometimes with being able to keep my mouth shut, like I'll keep it into a certain degree, and then at some points I have to go like hell, do you think you do it? And kind of thing. And yeah, I just was. I just was getting really. I was getting really really angry, really ratty with people and really annoyed and it was kind of spoiling my weekend in a way. It was bad weather as well, which doesn't help, and I mean I was always taught as a kid you know to kind of, you know give way to people.
Stephen:
If someone's coming through a door or you know going down a corridor, you know try and give way. Or you know if they give way and then say please and thank you, and it's just little things like that that people don't do now and it just seems to be more of a factor in life now. It seems to be more of a thing that's accepted. You don't have to do these things and I don't, I don't like that. That's not a good way we're going in society. That's not. That's not what we should be doing. Hold the door open for someone and don't get wrong. I don't, I don't do that to get thank yous. I don't. I don't do nice things to kind of get something in return. But just just an acknowledgement even is, is is nice, we're in Turkey, for example. We're in Turkey and holiday and in. Was it May, june, june, I don't know, it seems ages away, it seems ages and ages ago it was September.
Stephen:
Was it September? Yeah, it was September. That's how long ago it seems that we went away when it was only September, so like two months ago. My God, honestly, it seems like six months. Um yeah, but we we well, I was astounded, and I think my mate and my wife were as well. You know there was.
Stephen:
There was so much rudeness in the hotel. Like it was like a big buffet area so it was like all inclusive and people just literally be like the British love to queue. There's a thing with the British Like we like it, we like order, we like is there a queue for this? I'll join the queue. I'm not going to jump to the front, but like people would be queuing for things of many, many nationalities in that hotel. It was quite nice because there was so many nationalities. There was there was Turkish people there, there was Germans, there was um Russians, there was Ukrainians, there was um other people from the Baltics, there was Greek, there was British, there was Spanish. It was a right melting pot.
Stephen:
It was really nice actually, but most of them were rude, like that's why that's what I found. It was like they were just fixed on what they wanted to eat and like I was about to pick up. So I was about to pick up the tongs to get some food and literally my hand was probably like five centimeters from the tongs and this woman literally like undercut me, like touched my, like basically moved my arm out of the way, grabbed those tongs and started loading her own plate up. And I just looked at her and she just didn't even. She didn't even acknowledge me, she didn't even turn to me or anything. And I was just like wow, and I was at holiday, so I was quite chilled, like there's loads of food, like it's the amount of food that was there was was crazy really. Um, it's quite a big hotel, um. So I just thought, like why are you rushing for, like you know you're not, there's no, no need to be that that hasty in your actions.
Stephen:
And little things like that really get to me Like I've always been the same throughout my life, like tiny things that people do or don't do like are huge for me. Like someone could come up and punch me in the face. This is just an example. Please don't do this. But as an extreme example, someone could come punch me in the face and then say sorry and I'd be like, oh, okay then, um, but someone not saying, please, I thank you, really great. So I think it would be a massive, massive, massive issue for me. And it is, it is, and now, whole courtesy thing of you know you hold the door open for someone and you know, even just nod the head to you as a, you know, as a oh thanks for that kind of thing, it's just nice and I don't do it. I'm just, I feel like I'm just a nice person and I would do that because it's nice to do that, it's nice to be nice. There's no need to be that self-involved.
Stephen:
The problem comes with me is when I do get that annoyed. I can't not say stuff sometimes and it comes out quite aggressive and I can't help that. That's just something. That's the way my brain works. It's like right, you've triggered me, you've crossed the line. I'm going to tell you where you went wrong, a way you need to rectify yourself, and it does come across like a bit of a Sergeant Major kind of like army style kind of dressing down, and people don't like that, so they get a bit techy. But I reel myself back in quite quickly, like I used to work in customer service. So I'm really good with people relations to a good degree, but it's when I get to this trigger phase that it's not good. But I just it's just been bothering me and I just wanted to share it and I don't want to bring you all down, that's not.
Stephen:
The idea with this podcast is to rate and rave and stuff.
Stephen:
But I'm just curious as to whether, like, is it just me?
Stephen:
Is it me getting older? Is it me being more intolerant to like, grow older? Because I feel that's a thing I feel like that is definitely. You know, as a society, I think in general we become kind of less bothered about certain things and more bothered about other things, and definitely my tolerance level has always been, you know, tested, let's say, but I feel like it happens more often. I feel like I can't shake it off as much now and it's a shame really, because it brings me down and it distracts me from what I'm actually doing.
Stephen:
And I was the whole kind of talking about this today was actually trying to focus on being a bit more positive and trying to, you know, trying to I don't know try to be in a sense less bothered about people doing things like that to me If that makes sense, and just trying to let it wash over me Because I must have at some point. Because, like when I used to work at the train station, for example, people used to be horrible to me, all the ding dong day like all day. Most days you get some nice people, but in general people could be quite abrupt and rude and generally not say thank you. And this is gonna sound petty, but sometimes when they used to say thank you it was disingenuous as well. It didn't sound, does that work disingenuous.
Stephen:
Yeah, anyway, it didn't sound like they meant it, so it was kind of like ta, ta or thanks, and it was like going through the motions and it wasn't.
Stephen:
I like eye contact. I've always liked eye contact, like if you're gonna say something to me, tell me, like, actually tell me. Don't kind of go around the houses and, you know, tell me whatever. Maybe that is being petty, I don't know, but anyway I used to get like moaned at and abused pretty much on a daily basis when I did that job and it's kind of comes with the character of being in customer service, being on that front line and especially working in an industry where people are time sensitive. Yeah, because if your train is two hours late, that is really annoying. I've been on trains that have been that late and it is annoying.
Stephen:
And I didn't mind people taking it out on me to a degree if they. Most people used to come to a point where they'd understand that they crossed the line into I'm just ranting at this person and it's not really this person's fault and I would say probably like 90% of people used to be like, oh, you know what, I'm sorry for having to go here and I'm, like you know what, completely understand. And I am the first person you've seen. I'm a representative of the railway. That's to a degree, that's fine. And I'm wondering is because I had that role is when I was like in my early 20s and even to a degree when I worked in signal boxes and had to deal with a bit of conflict and kind of take a lead role and kind of be the better person in my day job. I wonder if that's where kind of like things change when I left that role and I was more like office based and didn't have them kind of scenarios and I'd like do more paperwork and stuff like that, and I feel like my personal life changed as well as circumstances of my personal life altered. So psychology is an odd thing, but I think it's also a thing when we get an old that I just am intolerant of people not doing what they should be doing and it doesn't take much to say please and thank you and to say excuse me and just to be fairly minimally nice to people, even if you don't know them.
Stephen:
Call me crazy, but I kind of carry that through into like the stupidity realms as well. So it's not just about being like nice to people. I also get really, really aggravated about people just being generally stupid Because I just it doesn't compute my brain, excuse me when you see people like on the fail videos and stuff like that. You see people on fail videos and you're like I don't understand how you didn't know that was gonna happen, like you didn't see the situation. It didn't take a lot of assessment and this is the outcome and that completely baffles me to the point of I get angry. So maybe I have anger issues, I don't know. But yeah, I think it's just for me it doesn't take much to be kind and say thank you.
Stephen:
And does all that stem from having a good moral compass and good moral upbringing? Because I feel that my mom and dad did a pretty good job. They said be grateful for things. Say please, thank you, kind of respect your elders, you know. If there's, if there's someone walking down the street towards you, you kind of give way for the Older person, make room for them, you know. If there's an elderly person, you know, ask them if they want to help and and just just nice things. You just be a good, good person and it does doesn't make me curious as to whether they're like falls from, like a certain moral standpoint or whether this is all being lost and also we carry these little devices around with us that we just get so lost in as well. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Stephen:
The only thing about me, what I can get, and, yeah, and I'm not averse to doing it myself, like, don't get me wrong like I can be in my complete own little world, but if I ever, if I ever, had had someone hold a door open when I just walk through it, I I've done it and I've turned around. Oh my god, thank you, sorry, like I didn't even say thank you, or you know, and correct, and try, try to correct that. And there are days probably, when I've what I've come probably completely in the zone and maybe bin rude to someone, but that pains me. If I'm thinking about that and I'm, oh god, no quite how that people want that person think, um, probably the worst time that I am like that is like you know, I'm in a supermarket and someone you know or doing some sort of customer service, and Someone's not paying me attention. Okay, it's really rude, like and I know that's the job you do day in, day out.
Stephen:
I feel like when, like, say, you're like a checkout operator or something like that, I think it's really rude just to throw all the stuff through that, making any sort of eye contact or just saying hello and then just saying the price of the food or whatever, especially if you've been flinging the food down the conveyor belt at me. Um, that really. And I can't help but say something. And again, I can be quite harsh when I say things. Um, sometimes I don't notice and sometimes it takes my wife to say Steve, oh, she'd give me the look and I'm like, oh, like I'm didn't mean to be, and I do. I come on a big person. I don't mind apologizing, I'll be like you know what. I didn't mean to sound so harsh there, but, christ, I try and turn it into a joke or lightheartedness and say Christ, but Freaking, flinging all the shit at me.
Stephen:
What's going on, like just take your time, is like no rush, um, and you're being paid for being here, like what the hell? Like just take your time. Um, everyone's got their own shit going on. I'm, they, everyone's got their own stuff going on their own brain and and that's where the whole be kind thing came from, I think one on it with the whole covert thing and, and you know, we've all got our own stuff going on. There's all this crap going on as well.
Stephen:
You know, just If someone's being a bit erratic or being a bit, being a bit odd or not acting like you expect, then just just be a bit kind, kind about it, because there's probably a reason for it. So pull yourself off of it, you know? Um, yeah, I just, I just, I just I just wanted to talk to you about that today because it's just been something that's been bothering me for a while and I'm not sure whether it's just just something that I've been, I've been, you know, someone that's been bothering me or whether it's something that you know, other people have been been seeing and Are sympathetic to, maybe. So let me know, like is this whole moral compass, please, thank you?
Stephen:
Just being polite to people in the street, do you think that's something that's fading and don't get wrong, I meet people every day that aren't like that. I Feel as a shift. I feel like I mean more people that Are rude and don't feel the same, don't feel the need to Say please and thank you. I don't know where that comes from. Maybe they think you're there above you, I don't know, but I feel like there's a shift and I don't want there to be. I do meet loads of nice people that say please, thank you, and you have a bit of a laugh at them and you Stunny cue and you're chatting to them and stuff. So I'm not being a complete negative, nelly, but yeah, just I'm just interested in know what people think is that. Is that something that people think happens and and is something that Is getting worse? Or is it my perception? Is it me becoming a grumpy old man? I did turn 40 recently, so is that something on me? I'd be really interested to know.
Stephen:
So hit me up, stephen speak. com. You can message me on there and you can measure me through Instagram and Facebook and whatnot. I think I'm gonna come off Twitter. I've got to update it, not Twitter, they're ok- tik tok. I've got to update my, my Twitter thing to the X logo. So I think when I do that, I think I'm gonna remove ticked off and come off. Ticked off because I don't ever upload anything to there anymore. It's just too much hassle. I'm lazy, as you know, and to upload so many social medias and Instagram is quite easy because it ultimately goes to Facebook and Don't upload to Twitter very often. But I'm gonna.
Stephen:
If I haven't got all of them to do, I am hopefully I'll become Better at that. It'd be great if you could just it may. There is an app, is there a nap out there where you just fling everything to everything at the same time? That would be great. Maybe some should invent that and that's the ending thought for this. Invent an app to make my life easier. Um, anyway, thank you very much for listening. Um, I hope that wasn't too much of a rant, because I don't want this podcast to become a rant podcast. Occasionally it will be, because I do like to rant occasionally, um, but yeah, thank you very much listening. Um, and yeah, I'll speak to you soon.
Stephen:
You've been listening to Stephen speak the podcast. Thanks for listening to my unscripted prattle on everything and nothing. Visit Stephen speak comm for updates, information and my blog. You can follow more updates on social media and Stephen speak PC. Thanks very much and I'll speak to you soon.
