3.12 /// 40 Candles: A Milestone...

Ever thought about why we attach such weight to milestone birthdays, like 40? As I celebrate the big 4-0, I find myself ruminating on this age-old tradition. This episode of StephenSpeak is an introspective journey as I turn 40, symbolising two decades of rapid-fire adulthood that flew by in what feels like a blink. 

I'm grateful for my life's blessings - my job, my loving wife, and having a home to call my own. I'll share my newfound resolution to embrace my passions more, from writing to podcasting to even joining a band.

Join me as I let you know the delightful birthday presents I received, like a mug with a Lego theme, Raspberry Ruffle bars,  to a Father Ted magnet.

Turning 40 has been a catalyst for reflection and planning – as I navigate this midlife milestone, it's clear that the number is just a measure of time; but what truly matters is how you live it.  

So, tune in for a candid, reflective, and celebratory episode on life, age, health, fitness and the importance of pursuing passions. Let's find joy in every chapter as we grow older! 

Chapters

• 0:00 Turning 40 and Celebrating Birthdays
• 9:02 Birthday Gifts and Midlife Accomplishments

Transcript

Stephen: 0:00

Hello, welcome to StephenSpeak, the podcast Um. On today's episode I talk about my birthday, which is today, and turning 40.

Stephen: 0:13

Let's talk about that.

Stephen: 0:41

Hello, welcome to this episode of StephenSpeak. I think it's episode 12, I'm not even sure. I think we can just stop mentioning what episode it is in future, because I've started to record, sometimes in a random order, or I decided to switch out, or you know if guest appearance might suddenly come up. I might just stop mentioning what episode it is. Um, anyway, that's me thinking out loud.

Stephen: 1:04

It's my birthday today.

Stephen: 1:07

Um, that's the wrong sound effect.

Stephen: 1:10

Well, you know, okay, I couldn't find the right one, I didn't set it up, so we'll play some creepy music instead because I am 40. Um, yes, so, um, and I don't feel indifferent because you don't do you? This is just another year, really, and if you're lucky, then it's just another year older. That's, that's all it is, isn't it? Um? And it's a thing in the UK I don't know if it's a thing around the world, um, that people seem to be insistent on asking you if you feel any different because you should birthday or because you were a year older. I was, I was the same yesterday. It's just one day that's made me a year older technically, because it was nearly a year old yesterday or month ago. I was nearly a year older.

Stephen: 1:58

So it's always kind of annoyed me a little bit that, um, if I'm honest, a lot of things are annoying me recently. Maybe it is my age, um, but especially in the UK, we have like some some special celebratory birthdays that we kind of think of some sort of landmark. So, like, 13 is like a thing, like become like a teenager, 18 kind of becoming an adult. Um, I know, sweet 16 is kind of becoming a thing, I think in this country as well, with, like the kind of American influence. Um, yeah, we celebrate like 30, sometimes as well, uh, 21's also kind of a celebratory thing, and then 40 seems to be a big one for people, um, and then 50, and then retirement, which isn't a birthday, I know, but you know that's like the next thing and then, like, getting to like 70, 80 and then a hundred is like you get a left in the world used to be the queen, but you get left from the king and then a hundred in this country, um, for reaching that milestone of, uh, the verge of death. So, uh, yeah, I just, I just think it's a, I just think it's like a strange, a strange thing that we do in this country is like kind of like it's weird, I think that we celebrate certain birthdays anyway.

Stephen: 3:16

It's weird. I think I'm going to really grumpy and say I think it's weird that we celebrate birthdays. To be honest, um, to celebrate the day you were born, because you have literally no control over that and they, it's a celebration, it's, it's yeah, it's um, yeah, it's just bizarre for me, um, that we, we just celebrate birthdays. I'm not going to be too grumpy, so, hurray, we celebrate birthdays, but it's weird that we celebrate certain ones. I'm not. I'm not going to lie, I don't know why. I think it's hard. I just think that, to make a minimum, I did have like an 18th birthday party and a 21st Um because, we had an 18th one and I wanted a 21st one.

Stephen: 3:57

This is just an excuse to get pissed. To be honest, that's all it was for me. Um, but yeah, what was I saying? Yeah, I just think it's odd that we put so much on us on certain birthdays. If it's a celebratory thing, why not just celebrate them all the same? But anyway, I'm 40 today. 4-0, that's mad.

Stephen: 4:20

I honestly I mentioned one of the previous episodes I didn't actually think I'd live to see 30,. Genuinely, I always thought that in my head that was so far away and seemed an odd age to get to and I genuinely I don't know why I just genuinely didn't think that I would survive past 30. I always thought that something would happen to me or I don't know, go down in a blaze gloring on my motorbike or something. I hope that doesn't happen, touch wood. I think that was always in the back of my mind, that getting past 30 or even 40 would not happen. I don't know why that is. Maybe there's a psychologist out there that thinks, geez, you need help. That's always been a thing for me. I don't really think that way anymore, but when I was younger, in teens and into my 20s, that's what I thought. I didn't really spur me on to do anything amazing with my life. I didn't really give me the honest about it and really really conquer the world, which is kind of depressing. Maybe it wasn't that much of a worry in the first place or enough of a worry for me, because I'm quite dismissive of some things, the way my brain works. I'm very much like, oh my God, that's terrible, but then I'll go. There's nothing you can do about it. I crack on. I kind of immediately kind of comfort myself. Maybe I don't know, but yeah, so I'm 40 today.

Stephen: 5:53

In 1983, I was born, and you know what? It doesn't seem that long ago that I was at school and college and stuff like that, and that was all 20 odd years ago. I left school 23 years ago, which is onkers, because people that are 23 now that were born the year I left school, which I can't comprehend. I can't comprehend that time is a weird, weird concept for the brain. I still don't think the year from 2010 to 2020 existed Still. Really, if someone says 10 years ago, I immediately go back to like if someone said 10 years ago, I'd immediately think 2003. I forget those are 2013. And that's kind of been in my brain for a while and I can't shake it, which is annoying as well. But yeah, I don't feel any different. Going back to that point, like I'm 40. I don't feel any different.

Stephen: 6:57

There are some changes I think I want to make now I am 40. I have put a bit of weight on. I think I need to really, you know, think from this point in my life. It's probably going to be really impactful if I don't look after myself a bit better. So that's something I'm going to really really kind of focus on, I think, and trying to get back into shape and get back to get back to like marriage, marriage way, I think, because that was, I felt, comfortable. It took a bit of effort, but you know, I'm chubby now. Let's say fat, fat, fat, boardlining. Let's just say I'm fat now. So I need to get back to some sort of weight, because it's going to say, yeah, you know I'm 40 and I'm not, I'm not young anymore, you know, and I do feel things.

Stephen: 7:49

I do wake up in my field, but a key and I do seem to get tired a bit quicker Probably something to do with the fact that I don't exercise as much as I should. My job is quite sedate and I need to need to need to do something about that. I'm literally potentially halfway through my life and like the life expectancy in Britain, I think, is 80 years old for a male, about that. So technically I'm at the halfway point, like I've got another 40 years to go, potentially. You know, at the most well, at the average, which doesn't bother me Like halfway point.

Stephen: 8:28

Wherever I've had a good life so far, it's not like I feel like I'm doing my own bit, you know. But you know I've worked hard for what I have in my life and I've married to a wonderful woman and the only thing at the moment which would really, you know, make me happy is a kid, and I've spoken by this in the podcast before that. We're going through IVF and it's just been such a long process and unfortunately, the health system in Britain at the moment is shit and we've just been waiting for so long with no view to get any further with this process. So I think that's the only thing at the moment that I think would complete me. I'm quite happy with my job. I don't know if I'm wrong. I'd like a million quid, but to do what I wanted and maybe do this stuff full time. But I'm quite happy with my job, like I'm comfortable, well paid, you know, got a beautiful wife, I have a roof over my head, which you know. Mortgage is slowly coming down, yeah, so it's just gonna be a kid now. So hopefully that can be sorted in the next couple of years. And yeah, it's just, it's just like.

Stephen: 9:32

I think now is the time to focus a bit more. Maybe I'm a bit wiser, maybe I can focus and knuckle down and now I've got this infrastructure around me that I've built up over the last 20 years of working, I can. I can focus on other stuff, as you know. You know I've spoken about, like you know, I'm writing, writing some books and how they'll turn out, whether they're gonna be any good or not, but I've been, I've been trying to do some writing, do my podcast.

Stephen: 9:57

I actually recently joined a band, so midlife crisis. So, just off the back of what I was doing at the house center a few few months ago, doing the sound recording and stuff, One of the chops in there I said he used to be in a band and he was looking at doing it, doing it again and I basically was like, oh, that's cool. I've always watched him join a band and he basically invited me along and we had a bit of a little small practice the other week and it seemed to go really well. To be honest and I'm the singer, slash keyboard player my keyboard skills, my piano skills have faded so much and I need to really practice ready for the next, ready for the next practice.

Stephen: 10:30

But yeah, it went really good.

Stephen: 10:31

It was just really good to jam with you know some musicians and and just to have, you know, let my hair down a bit and it felt good. So I kind of achieved that before 40, not that it was on like a bucket list before 40, but I achieved that before 40. So I feel like that's something I achieve. You know, age is like a you know, um, you Age is just a number and I feel like, you know, if you keep your brain sharp and give yourself some reasonable fitness which is the thing I've got to work on you know, I think that it doesn't really matter how old you are. You're into what you're into and you can just be you. And that's one very much I've always been about is just like just being me and just plodding on.

Stephen: 11:18

Again, I don't feel 40. It seems weird to say that I am 40 because I don't feel like it. I feel the same as was when I was 30. I don't think I can go below that age. I feel like 30 was. I felt like good at 30. And I just feel the same. I don't.

Stephen: 11:36

I don't know it's weird, but it's like how do you feel at 40? The frigging same, to be honest, yeah, so I've had some lovely presents. So just go through what I've had, because I don't ask for any presents and it's just really nice. And I've always been the same presents, like I never expect anything on my birthday. Maybe when I was a child I did, it's built up as a thing. But as soon as I became an adult, like I never expect anything.

Stephen: 12:02

And I always feel a bit awkward when people buy me presents, because I do feel obliged to buy them back and try and equalize it out. But I kind of, when I want to bought my own house, I kind of had to realize in because you know I was living alone and I'm just my own house. I literally just said to my mates listen, if you want to buy me something, you know if you can. And we, some of my mates, had an agreement with a couple of mates. We still bought each other stuff, but a couple of mates we just we just stopped buying and I said that's me. I've been saying that's me family for years. Like don't buy me anything. I prefer to see people. To be honest, I prefer to go for a brew, maybe over a beer, socialize. Basically, I like to see people. So I would. I would have been more of the fact that it'd be nice to see you rather than get present from you.

Stephen: 12:52

So yeah, it's kind of how my present thing works, but I've still been very lucky and a few of my friends have still bought me presents, which is lovely, and so I put myself a couple of things as well, to be honest. And yeah, so I have had a cup off my month. The theme is cups this year, I think, and I know you know I bought myself a cup on the internet as well. So, yes, I'm going to have to make some room in the cupboard. We have a lot of cups already. So I've got a like a Lego plastic. It's a Lego, it's a block kind of mug aimed at Lego, but it's not officially Lego. I'm just going to get that in there.

Stephen: 13:36

I'm a purist but no less appreciative. I've seen them for a while and I thought that'd be quite fun to have. But it basically is a cup and you can stick Lego to it, basically. So my mum bought me that and she bought me some Raspberry Ruffle bars because I love them. I've always had since I was a kid and she bought me a little magnet, a Father Ted magnet. I think she got me mixed with my brother because he's more into Father Ted than I am. I've literally seen like bits of episodes. I think I've ever seen one episode all the way through, which is kind of blasphemy for someone that lives in the UK, because it was like one of the biggest things for a while over here. Well, should she get me? Oh, and some spoons, like teaspoon, shaped like guitars, like six of them I think. It was like all different colours, so I'm going to take a couple to work as my spoons for work, along with my mug.

Stephen: 14:22

My brother brought me some cool gifts. He went to his movie land I think it's called in Germany, and specifically I never knew that there was a movie land, I never knew there was a theme park based on films. And he went there for his parents' little girl's birthday and he's telling me a picture saying there's like a whole Starfleet Academy section and it's like a Star Trek the next generation ride. And I was like what the hell? Why don't I know about this? I told my mate Scott, who's featured in the Star Trek episodes, that we did, I think in season one or season two, season two and yeah, he was very jealous as well. But my brother like just really generously brought me like a load of gifts back. So he brought me a t-shirt back with Dr McCoy on and it makes us I'm a Dr Jim, not a bricklayer, which is one of my favorite episodes and one of my favorite lines from the show, brought me a Klingon mug, which is cool.

Stephen: 15:19

It's like like silvery, it's got a weird, weird glaze to it. It's cool. There is some writing on it as well which I need to work out what it says in Klingon. I'm hoping there's like some sort of Klingon Translator I can use somewhere. Sure there is, and then people have transferred like ancient text into Klingon. So I'm pretty much like Shakespeare and the Bible, etc. Well, so you get me.

Stephen: 15:45

Oh, some key rings to be like original series key rings, can it was it can Perk and Spock and Else. Well, so else something else. Oh, they do they sell money in in movieland and it's a next generation. Basically Captain Picard, it's face on like a fake euro note basically, which is pretty cool, and he put it in like this acrylic little block like Preserver, yeah. So really like really cool gifts, like really cool. I love it Anything.

Stephen: 16:23

Star Trek is great, but it's like some of the stuff you can only get from there and really knowingly he bought himself one of them t-shirts and had his buddy suitcase stolen so he's lost his. So I feel a bit bad really for him. Yeah, and my friend Stuart and Martha and their daughter bought me. Well, the adults probably bought it. We have not the daughter, but a bottle of tequila Martha's from Mexico, so it's like a the proper stuff. So I'm looking forward to tasting that. And I got some Lego off my mother-in-law a while ago, so I'm I'm present early. That was the group to do it, so I might my social media. I put a group up and that's what she got me, but she was gonna be like all Motorbike as well, which I've not made yet. So she, I've got them early and Haven't had the present off my mate yet.

Stephen: 17:14

Scott he's. He's normally. I'm gonna see him later on so I'll probably pick up up then. He's like one of the greatest gift givers ever. He gets to like on the nose every time and, yeah, he's just so generous, so looking forward to seeing Presence. He has in store again.

Stephen: 17:32

Me and Scott, probably the only people we have constantly a lot of Scott's when he's constantly bought me something, I think it's because we know each other so well. To be honest. We always get each other stuff that we like but haven't really maybe thought about buying ourselves or maybe haven't seen. So we're done pretty well up to now. I don't think we've ever bought each other anything that the other person's already got, which is quite spectacular. Really, it's kind of a feat. Well, so to get having a bit of a mental shutdown.

Stephen: 18:01

Oh yes, my friend Louise Some of my longest friends Went out with her husband last night and they were talking about her turning 40 next year. Then she's turned to me and said oh, you're on, you 40 soon. I was like, actually tomorrow, louise, and she was like, oh god, she was devastated that she'd forgotten. And her little lad, jack, one of one of her lads, youngest, the youngest lad, basically apparently afterwards said, oh, it's terribly not to have bought Stephen something. So they went today and bought me something. So Me and Sarah went to one of local supermarkets as a cafe for breakfast.

Stephen: 18:33

So they met us in there and Louise had bought me some Grinch slippers, which is good because they replaced the ones that I was and I'm not willing to throw out yet until I got replacements. So that's good. And Jack bought me a Grinch mug With some green candy canes, which, ironically or coincidentally, more, more is the preferred word. Incidentally, I was looking at the other day in the shop and thinking should I buy myself a Grinch mug? Do I need a Grinch mug? So thank you. Thank you, jack, you solve that dilemma for me. Yes, I do need a Grinch mug, but I also bought myself a mug the other day on the internet. So I bought myself some coffee and I bought a mug with it. I was like, oh, that mug's a nice. So there's a lot of new mugs, oh, they're all cool. So I'm not, I'm not arsed, they're all really cool mugs. So who cares? Who cares? Yeah, it's been a nice day so far.

Stephen: 19:29

Again, it's like a normal day, like when you're a kid. You get super excited about your birthdays, but they just fade. It's not like Christmas, like I still love Christmas, but it just becomes a general of the day, especially like if you're working as well, like I've spent so many of my birthdays at work on shifts, on nights and stuff, and not celebrate them. So maybe that's what you do. Make the most of my birthdays now. Use it as maybe use it as an excuse to enjoy myself and be waited on, etc. Etc. And yeah, so I'm just going to record this podcast and upload it and stuff.

Stephen: 19:59

Today I'm going to have a chill for a few hours, maybe watch something on telly and just chill and have a brew and you probably utilize my new cups, and later on I'm going out for a meal. My mother-in-law is very, very nicely offered to take us for a meal, including my mate Scott. So me, sarah, her brother Scott and her mum are all going to go out for a lovely meal later, so that should be something to look forward to. And then, post meal is when I'm going to go to my diet, because I always said I was going to have a six pack when I was 40.

Stephen: 20:32

I wanted a six pack for getting married. That never happened. And I want a six pack for getting 40. Definitely not happened. So, yeah, I'm not going to put my, put a wish for getting a six pack, but I think maybe I should at least try to regain some of my or be able to get into some of my clothes that fitted me a year ago. So yeah, so that's the challenge I set myself now and the next few months is actually to start using the gym membership that I recently joined and actually lose a bit of weight and just not think about getting older. Just be me and make the most of things and just enjoy life and I think everyone should be okay for you If we all did that and just chilled a bit. I think we fine, we fine. So, yeah, that's, that's me turning 40, and some random mother shit that I decided to talk about, which probably isn't relevant, but I can't even remember now. As soon as I say it it drifts off out of my brain. Anyway, thank you very much for listening.

Stephen: 21:38

If you're new to Stephen speak, please go back and listen to some of the other episodes. I hope you enjoyed listening to this random little episode today. And if you, if you would be so gracious, why can follow on social media at Stephen speak PC, or to have a look at my website, stephen speak. com? I really need to update it, so I apologize, it's not been updated. I know I'm useless. If you've got any ideas, feedback et cetera, let me know. And if you think you're interesting enough even not interesting enough, you can't really be less interested than me Hit me up and inquire about being a guest on the show. If you've got something to talk about or think you think other people would find interesting, let me know. Until then, I will speak to you all soon and take care of your good selves.

Stephen: 22:53

Thank you.