5.23 /// Redefining Success: A Journey Beyond Expectations

What does success truly mean to you? As I reminisce about my own winding path—from dreaming of a career in the army and the music industry to unexpectedly finding fulfillment in the rail sector—I invite you to ponder the unpredictable nature of achieving one's goals. Join me on this episode of Infinite Prattle, where I share how adapting to new social environments and connecting with diverse individuals can lead to unforeseen opportunities. This is a heartfelt exploration of the courage required to pursue passions amidst societal pressures and the importance of staying true to oneself, even when the world around us casts doubt.

Balancing personal dreams with life's obligations is no easy feat, yet it’s a journey worth undertaking. Drawing inspiration from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s autobiography, I reflect on the art of managing time for personal projects while shouldering responsibilities like full-time work and home ownership. Discover how fostering specific interests without guilt and valuing simple blessings such as family and stability can redefine success beyond material gains. Together, we’ll navigate the complexities of being a supportive figure, often without seeking help ourselves, and the crucial role validation from loved ones plays in our personal growth.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Concepts of Success
• 9:42 Defining Success and Self-Reflection

Transcript

Stephen: 0:00

Hello, welcome to Infinite Prattle and welcome to another episode. Today's episode is going to be about what is a representation of being successful nowadays, and what is that to you? So stay with me.

Stephen: 0:18

Hello and welcome to Infinite Prattle, Unscrubbed, unedited prattle, on everything Hosted by me, Stephen, Listen like, share, subscribe and enjoy the show.

Stephen: 0:40

Welcome back to episode 5.23 in the new format. Well, it's not a new format anymore. I've been doing this for the entire series and I've pretty much swapped all my old episodes out for this format as well. So, welcome, welcome. Welcome, though, and how are you? If it's your first episode with me, then welcome, and if it's not, then welcome anyway, um, yeah, so today's episode, I just wanted to go through some, you know, some some thoughts really about what represents success in life, in in this journey we go through, and what does that mean to you and other people?

Stephen: 1:20

And do you need you know? Do you feel like you do it for respect? You do it feel like you do it for respect? Do you do it for yourself? Do you do it for that appreciation from others?

Stephen: 1:29

Yeah, so I've got a few themes today.

Stephen: 1:33

So how this comes about is mainly because I've always, like I've never really known what I should do with my life, really kind of kind of um, I don't know.

Stephen: 1:44

My mental state has always given me multiple paths to go down, and I'm quite lucky, and I don't want this to come across as um cocky or big-headed or anything like that, but I I'm I'm not a stupid guy, I'm quite clever, um, in some aspects more than others, like everyone else, and I think I have quite a rounded intelligence and I can hold my own, I think, with many types of people, and I don't know if that was because the way I was brought up and my kind of social stature, I don't know.

Stephen: 2:21

I lived in an area when I was growing up in between like a nice area and a bad area, so I had mates or people I knew for the 30 really that were from rougher places. I could integrate with them as well as integrate from the people from the nicer areas, as well as the people that were from the place I was from. I feel like I've always been able to metamorphosis into this um, I don't want to say character, but I I can. I can basically get along with anyone really and hold, hold a conversation, um to a good level I would say I'm don't really like politics.

Stephen: 2:59

That's probably where I'm weakest on. But general history I'm not too bad on. Um. Don't ask me detailed questions, obviously I'm I'm a generalist, but you know I I have, I have wide spanning knowledge, I would say um, but I also like to listen and contribute as well. So I think I'm quite a reasonable conversationalist. Um. I try to be at least name.

Stephen: 3:21

I know sometimes I can talk too much, hence I started this work, this podcast, um to try and get some of it out, um, but I do love to listen to people's stories, so if you ever, ever have a conversation with me and I'm ranting on about something, just tell me to wind my neck in. Um, not here, though, because this is the whole idea of this podcast. This is, this is brattle. This is this is infinite brattle. Forever ramblings, um, but yeah, for me that was um.

Stephen: 3:51

I think that's kind of how I've always been and because of that it's given me a lot of opportunity, I think, in what my thinking of a career could be, if that makes sense. So not, not, not a stupid person fits in with lots of people saw a lot of life in my early kind of career on the railway, because that's where I work now and it's kind of been a common career and not meant to be, but it's where I sit now in the rail industry and I started that as a kind of a temporary job but kind of fell into it and my planned career path was the army and that's really the only thing I've ever really really, really, really wanted to do, apart from maybe be a rock star, uh, musician, um, but yeah, I think the whole army thing.

Stephen: 4:39

And there's another episode, a couple of series back I think it might be series three, series two maybe where I talk briefly about my escapades with failing to join the army.

Stephen: 4:51

There's a reason behind it. Then I joined the railway and you know, money starts coming in and then you know, kind of the world beats your dreams out of you. I know that sounds terrible and stereotypical, but life just keeps going and flowing and it doesn't wait for you. I mean, if I could go back, I don't really regret anything. But if I could go back and maybe kick myself up the arse a bit, I think that I may have pursued other areas of life and I'm not old, I can still do that, I am trying to.

Stephen: 5:21

But I think I started other things, maybe progressed them a little bit or at least kept up the general level. I was on for things. So my music slipped away a little bit because I let people tell me what to do a little bit and beat me down, so it kind of took a sideline. And the same with writing and stuff like that. I think people get the impression of me that I'm very, very confident, and I'm'm not. I am to a point, but like most people, I have doubts and fears and and if you tell me something after enough that it probably won't happen, then I'm probably going to believe you at some point.

Stephen: 5:54

Um, yeah, but life gets in the way, doesn't it? You know, you, you want to do all these things and I I really appreciate people that you know really go for what they want and they have an idea and they follow it and they chase it up, and but everything takes money and time and effort, and you know, when you're doing 12-hour shifts and you're paying for everything managing a house and stuff you know having that, having that extra bit of oomph, is hard to find sometimes. Um, but anyway, what's this got to do with? What's a good pointer of, of success? Um, I've not become a millionaire. I I've not really done the things I was hoping to. I'm 41, uh, I've done a lot of things, though, and I'm always. I think maybe part of the issue with me is I can always see the optimistic side, which is a really, really good thing, but it also is bad, because I can talk myself out of being in a rut, and that rut sometimes pushes you forward, so I can almost kind of convince myself that you're where you're meant to be and it's okay. Don't beat yourself up, where sometimes, I maybe should beat myself up and give myself a bit of push to do the thing that I want to do. I don't know if any of this is making sense, um, but anyway. Um, I had a nice talk to my dad the other day. We went for a coffee at lunchtime, uh, I popped out of work, we had lunch together, we had a nice chat, and he basically said that you know he was, he was proud of me, which is nice. He thought it was a bit awkward for him to say, because, you know, he's a man's, man's man, and he just wanted to let me know that he was proud of where I am in life. It was really lovely. It kind of sparked this thing in me that, as hard as we are ourselves, sometimes you are where you are. And if you had aspirations of being a mega movie star and you're not, if you tried, then that's great. If you didn't, then still try. You know there's time for everyone. There's literally time for everyone.

Stephen: 7:51

And I'm trying a few ventures. I've got some stuff on the side. I'm trying to do a bit of writing and you know I've got my book, that I'm trying to do, a couple of books I'm trying to do and I'm trying to do my media stuff and I'm doing the podcast and I don't know where that's going to take me, whether that suddenly becomes successful, whether some people start listening to this podcast and it takes off. That really doesn't worry me. I've got the band as well and I've really enjoyed the whole process of picking, picking up the guitar again and singing and I really, really want to push that. I'd really like to, you know, really push my music. And again, if that's just me singing in a pub to some people that really enjoy what I'm doing and know what the band's doing, then that's fine by me.

Stephen: 8:40

I think for me, the main part of where all this comes from because I joined the railway maybe had a bit of an easy in because my dad worked there, but I've got to where I am now just by, you know, keeping my nose clean, going to work and just showing up and you know when it was needed, listening when it was needed to talking, and I don't feel like I've made, I don't feel like it's been too much of an effort and I don't feel like I've made I don't feel like it's been too much of an effort, but I suppose that in itself is the effort. That in itself is the key. It's just to keep showing up and keeping your nose clean and doing what you're told and going that extra mile sometimes and trying to be happy and nice to people. I think that goes a long way and I hope that in all the jobs I've had that you know, people have thought you know, oh, he's good at his job or you know, never, ever messed up. But I hope they realize that it was never intentional and that I've rectified any mistakes that I've ever made, whether it be towards someone or anything like that.

Stephen: 9:42

It sounds like a very, very sounds like a very um counseling session this, but I just wanted to. I was, I was where I'm going with all this is. I've got to where I am today, um, through a little bit of luck, but just perseverance, and you know you have to learn things in life. When you buy your own house it's a massive thing, um, and just learning that responsibility of learning to keep keep things going. And, yeah, my dreams, some of my dreams, dreams had to go, maybe push to the side a little bit, because maybe I thought they weren't possible or work got in the way or I lost interest or lost hope. But I think the biggest thing for me was when I started working full-time and I owned a house. It was very much a pressure of I'm the only one that can do this. I can't like stop work and blah, blah, blah, um, because obviously the responsibility of a house um well, you can't.

Stephen: 10:38

You actually have lots of time in the day, uh, and if anyone's ever read the Arnold Schwarzenegger's um autobiography, he actually basically says, like you know, you sleep for seven, eight hours, you work maybe for seven or eight hours. You've still got like eight or nine hours in the day left, depending on you how you break that down. Um, so that's a lot, you know, it's a lot of time really, and I think recent times it's got worse. I'm trying to, I'm trying to reel myself back from that and that's why, you know, I push this podcast and I put this podcast out there, but I'm also I'm not bothered about pushing it too much. You know I don't want to like spend all my hours when I'm not at my main job pushing social media content, which I probably should be doing if I wanted to be a success success. But I also need my own downtime and some of that because I have so many hobbies. Another reason I'll get back to that is in my brain I have so many things I'd love to do and then I can't fix Satan one, and then I just don't want to do anything and that's a. That's a big thing for me. I'm trying to really work on. That is like, if I've decided to like write some of my book, then I make a time for that. I don't feel guilty about the things that I'm not then doing, be it housework or other tasks or you know. Something like that is this is how I feel at the time and I need to go and do that, or I've allocated time for that and that's what I'm going to do. And I've talked about this before on the show, about how my brain works and it doesn't always work for me. Um, like a lot of people, this is something I'm I'm learning and it's taken me a while to get to this place.

Stephen: 12:13

I don't think maybe I regret is I didn't get to this point like 15, 20 years ago. Um, who knows where I'd be now? Um, but you know, you've got to grow as a person and but the biggest thing is, you know what do you rate yourself on? How do you know you're successful? Um, because a lot of people rate success as money and a lot of people rate success as the, the material items you have.

Stephen: 12:39

And I think I'm extremely lucky, um, because at 41, I have a house with a smallish mortgage, to be fair for my age. Um, I have a car, I've got a motorcycle, you know. I've got my collectibles, you know, and then I'm so looking to have my wife. You know I didn't mention her first, but you know, um, I wasn't mentioning things in the order of importance, um, but my wife, sarah, I'm so lucky to to have her and I've got my dog. And when you look at the things collectively, yes, I'm not a millionaire and I don't have. Maybe the life that I ideally would like is like disposable income and time to travel, and when I'm going to try and make that time now, I think, when I make that happen.

Stephen: 13:29

Uh, the more and more I get into like a more comfortable place, more confident place as I get older and these things become more easy. Well, they should do, um, and I think we are our own blockers to things. So, if you think you're not successful but you're paying rent and you've got a job and you're holding a job down, then you are successful. There's just a scale, like anything, and I I would say, on the very base level, if you're still alive and breathing and you haven't give up, you're still successful, like and that's a whole different topic of what happens when you hit rock bottom. But I think I think for me, if you know, if you're here on earth and you and you're trying, and no matter what that trying is, then you know you're successful.

Stephen: 14:14

Um, I just it just triggered me in my mind that my dad basically said that to me um, there's some stuff going on personal life and I'm not gonna get into it, but I think I think he just felt that I needed that bit of, a bit of an arm around me and a bit of that to be the thing that's not said to be said.

Stephen: 14:31

Let's say which I think I did need. To be honest, I'm not one that would seek appraisal from my parents or anyone really, but a bit of validation every so often does go a long way, because I do try, I do try a lot and I'm always trying to be there for people. And it's hard, it's hard. I am, in general, I would say, the person that people come to, but I never really go to anyone. Um, and it can be hard when it seems everything's one way and I make that situation myself, and it's the same with work. Like that's how I am with work. I push and, push and push and never seem to get anything back out of it until the last couple years.

Stephen: 15:16

Last couple years I've really felt there's been a bit of a change career-wise. I'm enjoying what I'm doing, I'm seeing some active worth you know worth from my, my job and seeing results from my job, seeing feedback from my job and seeing results from my job, seeing feedback from my job, and it's been actually quite a pleasure. I've got a spark for work again and if that's also like sparked my personal projects as well, which is good, you know, I think, yeah, my job might not be my ideal job, but it's a good job, I think I'm good at it and, yeah, I like my job, which is quite lucky really. I think people say, like, if you go to work and you enjoy what you do, it's not a job. No, I enjoy what I do. To be honest, it's not a chore for me. I'm reasonably well paid for what I do, I think. And yeah, I think that the last couple of years have like probably lowered stress levels, especially recently. Now I've got used to my job a little bit, I think that, and I've got my first big project over at Christmas, over the line, and I think that that will really help me in my personal achievements and trying to like hone them now. So definitely with the podcast stuff and the video stuff. I'm not making any promises, though, because you know we're all human and I don't want to put any pressure on myself and as much as I kind of criticize, probably like the next generation of people, for basically trying to get that home, work-life balance and extract etc. And I think people, a lot of people, do have pipe dreams of being like famous youtubers and stuff. Uh, rather than actually thinking about what career do I need? You know, I have to set up a pension, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Stephen: 16:56

We all do things our own way, but success is measured on, I think, especially today is money is what you have, what you're showing off, and it doesn't reflect right on social media. You're on social media. It warps your reality of what success is like. Standing in front of a mirror trying clothes on, you know pranking people, um, reviewing products online. You know all these people that do these jobs. It's, it's amazing that people are making money out of being sent products to review them and millions of people watch them. I'm one of them people. I'm one of them people that watches content creators create these contents, but it's not real and I think too many people of reality walked about what, what is actually real and what is achievable.

Stephen: 17:46

But then I've got so much say on this subject, I'm trying to trying to be concise and it's really difficult for me. I think the biggest thing is how then you measure your own success if you're not doing what you want to do? And how would you push for that if you think it's even possible? And I would personally say don't not push for that. But you've also got to live in reality and think that a small number of people probably actually do what they want to do and it's probably holding a talent. I think that's probably the thing.

Stephen: 18:17

Over the years I've I've thought myself many times that, um, probably again due to my attention span and having so many interests, I've never really become an expert of anything. Uh, my actual full-time job people would probably class me as an expert in, which is kind of cool. But then in my personal life, with my musical um instrument playing just slid off, you know, from what I used to be, from what I used to be, and quite considerably that's probably where I was like peak when I was late teens and it's just slowly dropped off. And who knows what I'd been if I carried on from that point. But you know I don't regret anything. It's my income across that. I'm regretful and I'm, you know, picking on people, whatever, but I just think that you don't always see it when you're in it and I just think that I'm grateful and I think I am successful on a scale.

Stephen: 19:12

Um and I. I just don't want people to cloud that view of success. Um, and everyone should be proud of themselves if they're out there doing something and holding their job down and paying rent, and whether it's whether you're living with your parents, living alone, friends, house sharing, no matter what, you're out there doing something and take them opportunities and grasp them. And and if something falls down and goes down to the wayside, hopefully you'll at some point and get back on that train um, pun intended, I just think that's that's where I feel like I'm at the moment. I feel like I'm successful, um, quite stable, and I think this is the time to go out and expand on them.

Stephen: 19:56

Other things that when I was growing up, I thought were unattainable, unattainable, easy for me to say um and and maybe pursue them a little bit. Whether I'm 41 or not, it doesn't matter. Um, yeah, and it's. I don't even even answer my own question there, really. But yeah, that was my thoughts on success and how I am, how I am and my view of my own success.

Stephen: 20:22

But it was nice to have a bit of a praise off my dad. He choked me up a little bit. I'm not going to lie, but it was nice. Again, you don't need to hear it, but it's nice to. So I'm going going to lie, but it was nice. Again, you don't need to hear it, but it's nice to. So I'm going to leave it there. What are your thoughts on this? What do you think is successful? Are you successful? Are you trying to pursue one of these like finite kind of narrow careers where you know you might spark and die, or you might blow up and have a long career in e-media or whatever it may be, trying to launch your own business? Let me know in the comments and just remember you are successful. If you listen to this, you're successful. So until next time, remember to keep prattling.

Stephen: 21:07

You've been listening to Infinite Drattle, thanks for listening. If you liked this episode, go back and listen to some others and please continue to listen. Your support is much appreciated. Please like, share, comment and subscribe, and I'll speak to you all again soon. Take care.